Morning Spice by Ginger
Mini fag for half the price

Ginger much to his joy was told that the Tobacco Company had put out a cigarette that costs exactly half the price of a normal cigarette. It was too good to believe though. He was also told by the same source that it was in fact a mini cigarette. He strongly suspected that his friend was pulling his leg. Anyway he decided to call his grocer and find out whether the information was correct risking a guffaw at the other end of the line. Much to his relief he learnt it was true.

He sent for a “pack” just to find out whether “small was beautiful” in this instance as well. It cannot be considered beautiful nor are any rave accounts about it likely to come. But it is certainly passable and is a boon to the more mundane tobacco addict with a short purse and thanks to the G.S.T. there aren’t many who walk around with those extra long wallets. The company must be praised for the innovative shown in this instance. It was shrewd thinking and a sensible adjustment to marketing demands. Other companies too may be able to maintain their profit levels if they adopt similar selling strategies at a time when real incomes are getting a pretty painful squeeze.

Blood sugar level
Now the fad seems to be for those who have high levels of sugar in their blood to monitor the sugar in their blood by using those glucose meters that every body almost seems to have with them. How wise is this habit? True enough it obviates the need to go to a lab every now and then to get your blood sugar tested.

American Health authorities however have been a little concerned about it all. A certain make of glucose meter has been found to give inaccurate readings and all these meters put out before August last year have been re-called and another bit of bad news is that doctors have been warned to be careful how they prescribe Rezulin for diabetics as it caused quite a few deaths around the world.

Clinton scandal
Guess what this female Juror in Canada did. The scandal may not have caused quite the national stir that Clintons exploits did but it did stir thoughts to as to whether it is wise to have female Jurors when males are accused or male Jurors when females are on trial, now take the case of Gillian Guess - would you have guessed.

This lovely 43 years old Juror got one and a half years in jail. One really wonders whether it was such a great crime though the lady was not quite as circumspect as she might have been she is supposed to have had an affair with the accused during his trial and what is worse had been caught making eyes at him and sucking sweets suggestively during proceedings.

Pinnawela – a good long look necessary

The 20th of September ‘98 was a rather dismal day to many of the visitors to Pinnawela. It was so without doubt to our school children whose presence was large the day being a Sunday.

I say so because a slight panic seized the crowd of visitors on this day, when an adult jumbo became uncontrollable even despite the joint efforts of the team of mahouts. It took some time to bring the animal to heel and finally the errant elephant was escorted by a ‘’working’’ elephant of the orphanage right into the park.

For a place like this such incidents cannot be considered strange but should be expected for the simple reason that the occupants are elephants. However, current rumour has it that there is a definite background and cause for this particular elephant’s behaviour on the day in question. It is therefore the duty of the authorities concerned to inquire fully into the matter and as the situation warrants apply the needful remedies to solve the problem.

I am informed that the authorities have already planned to instal a public address system, the absolute necessity of which was amply demonstrated by the said incident. They have already embedded the contraptions (iron rings) necessary to tether up an errant elephant in case of need. I do hope that all persons interested in the progress of the orphanage would be grateful to the present management for their concern towards the visitors particularly our school children who observed this incident with much trepidation.

The element of risk increasingly present today in the job of a mahout and the very arduous nature of the work involved in controlling the jumbos should be more sympathetically viewed and more then anything they should be adequately rewarded by enhanced salaries to be reviewed from time to time.

It is very unfortunate that these mahouts and other workers at the orphanage have a ‘connection’ with the tourist trade with the budget tourism we have nowadays, these workers cannot be expected to have steak every day from the occasional meagre tips they may get. They should therefore be kept contended by periodically reviewing their salaries.

Reggie Perera
Katunayake

Hello, Hello, Water Board

Once again we taxpayers are being taken for a ride by the state service sector

Sri Lanka Telecom
I am a resident of Nugegoda and have been experiencing a recurring problem with my phone for the past 3 to 4 months, and despite reporting the fault many times, it is eternally out of order and when it is functioning the line gets cut off during a conversation and sometimes there is a terrible disturbance. However, in July we received two bills for two different months and the second reflected a very high total. I am told that the system had malfunctioned and it would be interesting to know on what basis we have been billed.

National Water Supply & Drainage Board
Very recently my house had the problem of no-water and my wife contacted the dept. in charge of the Nugegoda area. Despite many reminders no proper action was taken to remedy the situation. It happened on a Friday afternoon and then on Saturday. Once again after many reminders two men were sent in the evening who just had a look and went off. In desperation on Sunday I tried to call the Services Manager but he was not working. On Sunday at around 5.00 p.m. three men came and since they detected it to be a major problem, they informed the office and around 6.00 p.m. I had about eight people from the Board trying to solve the problem. However, the problem was not solved till Monday at least after the Services Manager was asked to do something and action was taken.

During this time I tried various numbers to seek some sort of relief and the numbers given on the bill to be called in an emergency and the office at Chapel Road did not answer.

Could someone please inform me and those interested public as to whom we are to contact in case of an emergency.

Nugegoda Resident

Exclusions under motor insurance

‘The standard motor insurance policy contains certain ‘’Exclusions’’, which apply to claims. Firstly, they relate to the use of the vehicle and secondly, to driving of the same.

In the case of an insurance covering a vehicle used for private purposes, the exclusions applicable are mainly as follows:-

(1) Business purpose other than the business purposes of the policyholder.

(2) The carriage of goods/persons for fee or reward.

(3) Driving of the vehicle by any persons other than the policy holder or a person driving with the policyholder’s express or implied permission and

(4) Driving of the vehicle by any person who is not the holder of a driving licence valid to drive such vehicle unless he has held and is not disqualified from obtaining a licence.

Of the various types of motor vehicles that are registered in Sri Lanka, those classified as ‘cars’ are divided into two categories, namely, ‘Motor cars’ and Dual Purpose Vehicles,’ and a licence for driving ‘’all motor cars’’ is considered valid for driving a dual purpose vehicle, according to the Motor Traffic Act. There, however, seems to be some local insurers who are blissfully ignorant of the situation when they treat a driver who drives a dual purpose vehicle with an ‘all-car’ licence as an unlicensed driver.

It seems ironical that such insurers seem to exercise little commonsense, if ever they do, when they go hair-splitting on such punctilious contrary to the principle of utmost good faith, apart from anything else, in insurance.

C. S. A. Fernando
Moratuwa.

A letter to Alec Stewart

Dear Alec,
Sorry for putting you in so much trouble. You were bracing for a third test win in a row, and you lost! Almost by innings! We played our best as we wanted to convince the English authorities that we deserve more than a single test. Not many believed that we could ever beat England on English soil.

Over the years, the English authorities kept on hurting us by ignoring our talents. As Arjuna said, this time our team went to England to practise for the next World Cup, not to play that solitary test. Just think. So-called unofficial World Champs get a five-test series in England, and weeks later, the official World Champs are eligible to a single test only. Is it fair?

Waking up spectators

When Arjuna won the toss and decided to field first, cricket pundits laughed at him. But for a couple of days only. Minus Chaminda Vaas, our bowling attack looked “county level,” according to a commentator. Still, your batsmen could collect only 228 for four in the first day. Why crawling against such a weak attack?

The third day proved to be most entertaining. Sanath, labelled as a mere “pinch hitter” by his opponents, patiently completed a double century, and Aravinda a century, prompting praise from a commentator: “Good balls are blocked; bad balls go to the boundary; sometimes even not-so-bad balls go to the boundary.”

Have you noticed, Alec, how our batsmen scored?

We’ve blended the two types of the game, making test cricket more attacking and attractive. During the third day, we scored 367 for the loss of two wickets, against the dream attack of Gough-Fraser-Cork. Not against an “ordinary” bowling attack like ours. An excited Micheal Holding commented, “During the first two days, the spectators were sleeping. Today, they’re wide awake.”

Our bowling attack would be OK once Vaas joins Murali, one of the best bowlers the world has ever seen. English batsmen couldn’t escape the web spun by Murali, who would spin the ball anywhere. We must admire the resistance put up by Ramprakash and Gough. A brave attempt!

Lost, not only the match

The target you could set wasn’t big: 36 runs in 14 overs. As a commentator observed, when we play the normal game, we score nearly four runs per over. So our victory was inevitable. Still you know, in cricket, one should fight until the very last delivery. So we expected from you, the creators of cricket, a stiff resistance.

We couldn’t believe our eyes! Why on earth did you resort to dirty tricks? Bowling outside the leg stump is negative cricket. Umpire Shepherd was concerned; Fraser was embarrassed; England was heart-broken.

What happened at the end? Sanath exploded! Mission accomplished in just five overs, adding more grace to our victory and more shame to your defeat. Had you played the normal game, you could have even captured a wicket or two. Who knows? The moment you resorted to negative cricket, England lost...not only the match but also the soul.

Soon after the match, you led the team to our dressing room to congratulate us. It’s an act of sportsmanship. Surely you’ve grown up much since that Emirates Trophy Finals. Well done, Alec!

Before naming the Man of the Match, Ian Botham briefly went through achievements. He mentioned the 107 by Hick and 155 not out by Crawley, and then announced, “then the real entertainment began...” Isn’t it time for England to drop the flimsy excuse for the one-off test? Selling tickets wouldn’t be that difficult again.

Never again for a single game

Your coach is in hot water because of his personal doubts on Murali’s bowling action. The Aussies tried to unsettle Murali before, but came to a dead end. It was in fact a blessing in disguise. We Sri Lankans are pretty queer. The more you insult us, the stronger we grow. The Aussies motivated us so much that we won the World Cup at the end. A feat England has yet to achieve.

Any way, Alec, you’ve admired Murali, who has already claimed 200 test wickets. In fact, when one talks about Arjuna’s leadership or Murali’s bowling, it’s quite difficult to find a minus point.

Alec, let by gones be by gones. Start fresh. Fight back like gentlemen. As we did over the years to obtain a decent number of test matches from your country. We’re not begging for recognition and respect. Today, all know we deserve much more in both versions of the game. As Sanath and Marven ran to the dressing room after sealing our victory, a commentator said, “Sri Lanka won the match, ensuring they’ll never come again to this country for a one-off test series.”

Let’s meet at the curtain-raiser of the next World Cup. We’re defending the Cup; you’re eyeing it as the hosts.

Let’s fight Alec, but only on the field. Don’t forget, we’re playing the gentleman’s game.

All the best for success in Australia.

Asitha Jayawardhana,
Ragama

'Pommey'

The letter under the headline “Who is a Pommey’ appearing in he Island on the 24th Sept. intrigued me because whatever the definition of the word in any dictionary, the word ‘Pommey’ comes from the Australian slang ‘POM’.

I was always puzzled by this term and while in Australia made it a point to ask quite a few Aussies what it really meant. All of them said that the word ‘POM’ is derived from the words ‘Prisoner of the Mother country and refers to all inhabitants of England who have Not emigrated, and goes back to the time of the first settlers of Australia who were all deported to Australia by the English.

The Aussies have a great sense of humour and this was one way of getting a dig in at the English who in the opinion of the Aussies are still prisoners in England while they are free in a great continent.

If there is a better definition I really would like to know it.

A. E. Van Sanden
Battaramulla.

Misinterpretation of our age old customs

When anyone meets a person or persons or a crowd of people known to him at any particular place-whether it be at his home or outside at a public place such as a temple, church, market-place bus halt or even at a courthouse—inside or out—or at any other government institution, he would express his recognition, friendliness or acknowledgement of the others’ greetings by our age old hallowed form of oriental salutation which is the gesture of closed palms-clasped hands-across our face or breast.

This is the most civil and respected form of salutation and it has nothing at all to do with any political attitude or gesture in it.

If anyone says that this form of salutation has any political connotation in it he is sadly mistaken and is labouring under a false delusion and illogical misconception.

This is the most polite and civil form of greeting and if any person argues that it is not an apolitical salutation and smacks of some political gesture, then the whole blame should go to the politicians themselves for degrading and denigrating that form of our respected social custom we have been adopting all along in our civilised cultural modes of expression and interaction with one and all.

This explanation adverts to a recent editorial pronouncement in a leading newspaper.

R. M. A. B. Dassanayake
Matale.

Electoral lists boosts racism

The electoral lists for 1998 have been distributed for the purpose of revising the electoral registers.

Inspite of repeated public protests, the column ‘RACE’ still stands. What is needed is Nationality.

We haven’t forgotten that the race riots in 1983 were fed by the electoral lists.

Is their any difference between the “previous regime” (UNP) and the PA? This proves that they are hypocrites and racist political parties.

How can we expect unity and peace through a government that pontificates on this theme and continues to divide the people regardless.

We need people of integrity to govern this country. What are the other political parties and peace movements doing about this blatant racism?

Chelvathy Muthu Krishna
Colombo 4.

Are the norms of the judiciary being observed?

Of late the judiciary of our country appears to be a mockery when one considers the sad events that have surfaced recently.

Offences alleged to have been committed by some members of the judiciary bear testimony to the fact that there is a breakdown in the observance of the norms expected of the judicial officers.

Those of us who have had the misfortune to seek recourse to the law courts would have experienced the laws’ long delays which could be partly attributed to the lethargic attitude of some of the judges. Recently, in a provincial Court where there are normally two judges, both of them were on leave the same day resulting in the cases being put off. The poor litigants suffer while their counsels gain — no counsel will return his fees to the litigant just because the case was put off.

The Judicial Service Commission should awake from its slumber, and the time seems opportune for the Minister of Justice to look into the shortcomings in the judiciary.

Pro Bono Publico,
Wattala.

Rambling Notes by Nihal Corea
Consumers chewing horse food

Now this real horse sense. Here is an importer who knows his onions when it comes to selling red split lentils. A businessman is supposed to have imported some 124 tons of horse feed to pass on to consumers as red split lentils. It was a good lark to try on April fools day but the public is likely to look askance at this bit of deception that would have had the consumer chewing horse food.

Basically one does not see anything very wrong in eating horse food. A horse would have done much better than most athletes at the recent Commonwealth games. In this instance the main objection is due to the fact that this horse food described as red split vetch contained toxins that led to complications in the nervous and optic systems. In other words this importer had put human safety at discount.

It was the discount he got at the end of the deal that influenced his actions but then not many seem to be bothered about what Citizen Perera puts in his stomach these days be it in the form of liquid or solids. Why this fuss and bother about a little horse feed though it may contain a few toxins and so forth. For that matter very few food stuffs don’t when you come to think of it.

One gets the impression that we have been getting horse feed for a considerable length of time. Many a national has shown symptoms of complications in the nervous and optic systems. It is a little difficult to understand why many a citizen reacts to a given situation the way he does and fails to see the obvious in many an instance.

Contrary to demand patterns in other countries price has the opposite effect on demand. Raise the price of a commodity and it brings on no reaction in the consumer. There is no banging of fists and waving of shopping bags of fists by the housewife infuriated at the raising of prices. That is reserved for the bread winner should that individual show any reluctance to fork out the cash to buy any item once prices are increased.

There was never such a sellers paradise here. The seller has long realized that he would never get a fight. The more you pound, the consumer the more he seems to like it. It is seldom that the seller worries about a fall in demand. It fact no one would blame him if he increases price once again in the belief that a good raise would increase demand. No one knows what explains this consumer masochism here.

We believe in the simple Chinese axiom of good things no cheap and cheap things no good. Only we appear to be a little confused on how to interpret the adage. We seem to think that “no good things are good if not expensive.” So here at least it is the seller and not the buyer who is sovereign from junk to junk food. At least he is on the way to buying himself a title by being sovereign.

One gets a little huffed when one hears that someone tried to palm off horse feed on our nationals. How dare he send the wrong feed here. He should have sent cattle feed which would have sustained and nourished many thousands here. In what other country could you get elected politicians who forget about being elected just weeks after they are ensconced in power.